My Cat Is Not Affectionate Anymore? (4 Common Reasons)

My Cat Is Not Affectionate Anymore

If your cat is not affectionate anymore, you’re right to be slightly offended! We all enjoy cuddling and fussing with our cats. In this article, we’re looking at 4 common reasons why cats often stop being affectionate.

4 Common Reasons Why Cats Become Less affectionate

If your cat has previously been very affectionate but has suddenly become standoffish, preferring to be alone instead, you may be concerned.

Trying to figure out why a cat behaves the way it does can be difficult, even for those with years of experience.

Here is an overview of 4 common reasons why cats become less affectionate.

Your Cat Had a Negative Experience When Interacting With You

Cats are very sensitive creatures, and you may have unintentionally caused your cat to withdraw during a recent interaction.

In fact, you may have been totally oblivious to anything out of the ordinary happening, but something may have happened that stressed your cat.

For instance, if, while you and Kitty were in your favorite recliner cuddling and a loud alarm suddenly sounded on your phone that was also in your lap, it could have startled him.

He may be reluctant to cuddle again because he’s afraid that will happen again. Of course, he can’t express what actually caused him to withdraw from you, so you can only speculate.

Your Cat Is Unwell

Every cat behaves differently when they’re feeling under the weather. While some cats won’t leave your side when they’re not feeling well, other cats withdraw.

If you believe your cat is ill, you need to scrutinize him closely. Is his appetite normal? Does your cat seem more tired than usual?

Cats can sleep up to 16 hours a day, so it may be difficult to determine if your cat is resting more than he usually does if you’re not around all day.

However, you should be familiar with your cat’s normal level of activity, and if he appears to have reduced energy levels, something may be wrong.

If your cat appears sick for more than a day or so, you should take him to the vet.

Your Cat Is Aging

Cats can change a lot over the course of their lifetime. Cats go through different stages in life just like humans do, so you can’t expect your cat’s personality to remain the same throughout his life.

As cats begin to age, their interests may change. Your cat still loves you and derives comfort from being around you, but older cats sometimes don’t need the same amount of attention.

Some days he may want to cuddle all day, while other days all he wants to do is hide under the bed.

When your cat doesn’t seem to be very affectionate, you can still offer your affection. Don’t overdo it, though.

Simply let him know that you still love him, and you just might be surprised when one day he jumps into your lap out of the blue and reciprocates that affection you never stopped giving him.

There Has Been a Change in Routine, Food, Etc.

Cats love routine, and even the smallest changes can cause your cat to feel out of sorts, changing his behavior.

Have there been any changes in your household recently? Have you brought home a new pet? Had a new baby?

Even something as seemingly innocent as moving the furniture around can negatively affect your cat.

If you did do something like rearrange a room in the house recently and believe that’s what initiated your cat’s withdrawal, just give him some time to adjust.

If you have brought home a new pet or recently had a baby, it may take your cat even longer to adjust, so just be patient.

Related Here’s why cats nuzzle into our armpits.

How Do I Get My Cat to Be Affectionate Again?

As much as you’d like to, you can’t force your cat to become affectionate if he’s not interested.

Trying to force affection on your cat could cause him to snap at you, so be careful. If you’re patient, maybe your cat will come around on his own.

If you’re really interested in helping your cat become affectionate again, you can try to rebuild your bond with him by talking to him.

While it might seem completely ridiculous to have a conversation with a cat, cats love conversation.

Cats are much smarter than people give them credit for, and they can understand more than we think. They also respond well to the familiar sounds of our voices.

Of course, your cat can’t respond the way another person can, but he can respond in his own way.

Never stop petting your cat or telling him how special he is to you. Even though you might not believe he can understand you, it can make a big difference.

If you’re constantly showing and voicing love and affection to your cat, even when he’d rather hide under the bed, you could be slowly repairing a broken bond.

Of course, there is no guarantee that he will become affectionate again, but there is a good chance that he will, especially if he was very loving in the past.

Why Does My Cat Not Want to Cuddle Anymore?

Cats are mysterious creatures that are very difficult to figure out. There could be any number of reasons why he doesn’t want to cuddle anymore.

Regardless of the reason, you should remember that your cat didn’t simply stop loving you. He could be going through a difficult phase that’s causing him to prefer solitude.

Maybe your cat liked cuddling as a kitten, but now that he’s grown up he may not require as much affection as he did when he was younger.

Although you may miss the cuddles, your cat may have outgrown all the affection and prefer showing his love in a different manner.

Keep in mind that just because your cat isn’t cuddling right now doesn’t mean he won’t ever want to cuddle again.

Be patient with your cat and give him the space that he needs to do his own thing. Don’t aggravate him by invading his privacy when he’s trying to be alone.

He may need that time to recover from whatever may have caused the rift. Hopefully, soon he will show you some occasional affection again, even if not in the same manner as he did in the past.

RelatedWhy is my cat ignoring me all of a sudden?

My Cat Won’t Come Near Me Anymore, Why?

If your cat will not come near you, it’s more than likely due to one or more of the reasons above.

It’s not something you can’t change though, so don’t panic. It may take some time and patience, and a few kitty treats, but I’ve never met a cat that couldn’t be won over!

To overcome any problem, you always have to identify the root cause. If you can narrow down the reason why your cat is scared, skeptical, or suspicious of you, you can change its behavior.

More often than not, however, it’s going to come down to offering treats, giving them space, and slowly reaching out and giving them a little pet or fuss from time to time.

Don’t try to rush it. Give your cat a little stroke if they do come near you. Don’t make any sudden movements, and reward them with treats when they do spend time with you.

I’ve been here before with cats I’ve rehomed. There is no way of knowing how long it will take, but one thing I do know is that at some point, they’re going to end up curling up on your lap.

The only challenge then is seeing how long you can go without having to get up or disturbing them!

In Summary

It’s important to keep in mind that cats are individuals and have their own personalities, and they are also emotional and easily affected by their surroundings and experiences.

If something upsets your cat, it can change their loving nature and cause them to be withdrawn and careful about ‘letting their guards down’.

As long as you take the time to figure out what is causing your cat to behave less affectionately, you can always get to the bottom of it.

All you need to do is address the cause, be patient and give your cat plenty of space, and you’ll have an affectionate, loving, lap cat back in no time.


Image credits – Header Photo by Humberto Arellano, cat and person photo by Oleg Ivanov on Unsplash

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