Some people like having their cats in their room overnight, some don’t.
If you’re on the side that likes it, but your cat has started sleeping somewhere else and has left you wondering, ‘Why does my cat not sleep with me anymore?’
I can help.
There’s always a reason why a cat chooses to sleep where they are. If you want your cat back by your side while you’re sleeping, here are some of the reasons (and solutions) to explain their behavior:
6 Reasons Why You Cat Probably Isn’t Sleeping with You Anymore (And How to Resolve It)
You’re Fidgeting Too Much
No one wants to be kicked, nudged, and pushed around while trying to sleep – least of all cats. Most cats have little patience for being disturbed once they’re nice and comfy. I know mine don’t stand for it.
If you’re a fidgeter, your cat will likely find somewhere else to sleep where they don’t get woken during the night.
Who can blame them?
If you’re telling yourself you don’t fidget during the night, I’d check with your partner if you have one. I was convinced I didn’t move around much, but apparently, I’m quite the shuffler while I’m sleeping!
But what would I know, I’m asleep…
They’ve Found Somewhere Better
This is something that can dent a cat owner’s ego, but the reason might simply be because your cat has found somewhere they like better than your bed.
There may or may not have been a reason why they found somewhere else. But if they are sleeping in the same spot every night, it’s just more appealing to them for some reason.
Cats choose some of the craziest places to sleep too. I could list a number of strange places my cats have chosen over a comfy bed, such as;
- By a door (acting as a draft excluder)
- In the bathroom sink – This post explains why cats sleep in sinks
- In the laundry basket
- On the stairs – Serious trip hazard here
- On top of my TV
.. and the list goes on.
Why cats choose some places that are seemingly uncomfortable is one of the wonderful mysteries that surround our furry friends. You can place them on your comfy bed all you want, if they prefer somewhere else that’s just how it is.
It’s Getting Tough to Jump onto the Bed
If you have an aging cat and it’s starting to become difficult for them to jump on and off your bed some other places might seem more appealing.
It could even be due to a health issue that’s causing them some pain or discomfort. So, it’s worth giving your cat a good check over to see if there’s anything bothering them.
If your feline is entering their senior years and you both still enjoy sleeping on the bed, there are some things you can do to help them out. I use a small set of pet stairs (see image above), I have a sausage dog and two elderly cats use them to get on to my bed.
If you want a similar set of pet stairs to give you cats easy access to your bed you can get them on Amazon by clicking here (or clicking the image below).
Something Spooked Them
If something spooks a cat they can hold onto this trauma and associate it with where they were and what they were doing at the time.
This means, if they were relaxing on your bed and something suddenly freaked them out, they might not return to your bed. This is particularly true for cats that are sleeping. Cats are at their most vulnerable when they’re sleeping, so getting spooked while sleeping will have a lasting effect.
You may or may not have noticed what spooked them. It could have been a loud noise, another pet pouncing on them, or maybe you kicked them in your sleep (see the first point above).
They may return to sleeping on your bed after a little time and reassurance. If you really want to help, you may see some positive results by changing the layout of your room so it feels different to them.
It’s Too Hot / Too Cold
If we get too hot during the night we can throw off the duvet. Or, if we’re too cold we can add more layers. What options do cats have if they’re uncomfortable due to either of these things?
They can move on to somewhere cooler or warmer, that’s what.
I’m not suggesting you regulate the temperature in your room to suit your cat. That’s a stretch. But it’s worth considering if you’re trying to find out why your cat isn’t sleeping in your room any longer.
Have you spotted a seasonal trend? Are they more likely to be found on your bed in the winter? Summer? It’s something to think about.
Wondering what the ideal room temperature is for cats? Here’s a look at the ideal room temperature for cats in winter.
It’s Not High Enough for Them
Cats like being up high when they sleep. It’s part of their innate behavior to find somewhere high to sleep as they feel safer.
This behavior can be tied back to their wild ancestors and how cats behave in the wild. When sleeping they need to be somewhere they can spot danger approaching or feel like they’re tucked away.
Obviously, there are no such dangers around the home. But it’s one of the many instinctual behaviors domestic cats display around the home.
How Do I Get My Cat to Sleep with Me?
If your cat used to sleep with you but isn’t any longer, there are some ways you can make that spot on your bed more appealing to them.
After all, it’s comforting having our fluffy friends nearby at night. I know I like it. I find their purring really soothing, and a little extra warmth is always welcome.
Looking at the reasons I outlined above, if you can pinpoint a reason why they’re not sleeping on your bed, you can then do something about it. If you’re not sure of the reason, here are some things you can do;
- Try and get them into a bedtime routine and bring them up when you go to bed
- Place a blanket on your bed for them to sleep on. Cats are attracted to different textures.
- If they have a favorite toy, place it on the bed for them to play with.
- Put a perch in your room near your bed, this gives them some of their own space up high
- If you want to be really persuasive, reward them with treats when they are on your bed
There you go, a bunch of reasons why your cat does not sleep with you anymore, and some solutions to encourage them to come back.
Most cats want cuddles and company throughout the night just as much as owners do. It’s all about making a nice spot on your bed where they can get quality sleep and feel comfortable.
12 thoughts on “Why Does My Cat Not Sleep with Me Anymore?”
Thank you for this. My husband is at military training so I’m alone except for the cat. The cat I am speaking of refuses to sleep with me so it has me up googling questions at 2 am on why my cat hates me lol.
I am.not laughing at you but I am wondering after 7 years why did he just stop. My 🐈broke up with me I’m devastated. 🤔😊 but seriously it’s just odd.
I have a bunkbed and she used to sleep with me tons of times but then all of a sudden she would hop down and meow for attention and before that and after I gave her treats every time she got on the beds do still do but she still doesn’t sleep with me I she sleeps is a corner of a pillow. So there no way I been hitting her because before she sleep there all the time she would even hop on top of the bunkbed but now she doesn’t care😿
In the night
i got a new kitten recently and ever since she came into our home my cat distanced himself from me 🙁 i miss how he used to sleep with me he’s less affectionate with me now
That’s exactly what happened to me. And now that my baby is pregnant I’m worrying sense she’s not healthy enough for kittens and want her with me now more than ever. Sadly she just seems to hate me now..
I’ve tried keeping treats in a bag under my pillow. My cat will wake me up, get a treat, then she leaves & goes back to a living room chair to sleep in. Sometimes she will sleep with me but it’s only 1-2 nights a week. She used to sleep with me all the time. 😔
I have just been diagnosed with heart failure. Oddly enough it seems my cat may know something is wrong. Monte is 13 and has always slept above my head on a pillow. Since coming home from the hospital he won’t even come near the pillow. I am heartbroken.
My cat no longer sleeps with me, either.😥💔 Up until very recently, he always lay on the bed with his “sister”. She snuggles with me all the time, and he would, at least, be on the bed even if he didn’t always cuddle up next to me. Now he’s found a place in the living room on a chair that has a blanket and a pet carrier mat on it. He prefers that now to the bed.😞 I don’t want to dismantle the chair “setup” because that would be cruel. I just wish he’d sleep with me at least a couple of days a week. Nothing.😥😞
I have a very cute kitten, he is more than 2 years old. She is very attached to me, especially when she was a child, she always came to my bed and slept with me. But lately, he seems to have grown and is a bit distant from me, I think it may be the heat as well. so you don’t wanna lie next to me
My elderly cat has stopped sleeping on my bed for the last quite a few months. She has made a bed in the cupboard in my bedroom in a holdal !!!! Nor does she get on my lap during the day, though that took a lot of years to happen, maybe 10 . She was never the most affectionate cat . But she did cuddle up nightly and was happy…
My male 6&1/2 year old cat has slept on my bed beside me for ever. Now, my 7&1/2 yr .old female attacks him in bed. He leaves but comes right back. Recently, I yelled in bed because of frequent disruption by my neighbor.
I ‘ve yelled before, but not while my cats & I are in bed. My male cat left my bed ; hasn’t returned in 1 week.; I’m now ticked off at him for not sleeping with me, he seems less & less affectionate toward me.
A real change in his personality that was always so full of love.
I feel devastated.